A new resident moved in just over one week ago. Danielle* is a pretty twenty-eight year old who has HIV and heart disease. She was born with HIV, and my guess is her heart disease is the result of the virus working within her body. Her heart only pumps blood at 20%, whereas a normal heart pumps blood out to the body at 90%-100%. Currently, she has a medication that is constantly pumped into her (like an IV) assisting her heart in functioning. Without this medication, she would die within three weeks, and with it, she may only live for a year.
When I first met Danielle, I was able to look past all the cords and tubes. At first, she really appears to be any other young woman. She has a strong personality; she is very funny; she likes to talk and loves Kit-Kats. She is very easy to become friends with because she is so open and friendly. She is the mother to two beautiful young boys, ages two years and nine months. She loves them so much, and seems like she would do just about anything for them. The boys are currently living with their father and grandmother in Anacostia, the poorest neighborhood in Washington, DC. Just a couple of days ago, the father and grandmother brought the baby to visit at Joseph's House. He is such a good baby - rarely cries, likes to laugh, and loves to cuddle. As I sat with the family, I thought a lot about some of my clients last year who would bring their children in. Sure, they, too, were living in poverty, as well as living with HIV. But at some point during the visit, it hit me....Danielle's situation at Joseph's House is so very different than my clients' back in Raleigh.
Danielle will most likely die in the next 12 months. I am not sure what her awareness level of this is yet. Perhaps she is still in denial, or maybe she has accepted it. I am not sure. As I watched her with her baby, though, I saw the true love of a mother; and witnessing that love brought tears to my eyes, as I remembered that she is dying. And here she is, at Joseph's House, unable to spend her days with her children. The boys live 30 minutes away, on the opposite side of town, and poverty really prevents mother and children from being able to be together. Her boyfriend and his grandmother both work full-time, wage jobs in order to provide for the boys. That makes it difficult for them to travel the 30 minutes to visit. Not to mention, it is easier for them to drive to Joseph's House than to take public transportation...and that costs money...and as we all know, gas is not cheap.
I watched Danielle standing outside as her family got in the car and drove away. There was this longing in her eyes...longing for her boys, longing to be with her family, and maybe even a real fear of leaving it all behind. Just a twenty-eight year old mother, trying to do all she can for her kids, but her health and socioeconomic status as preventing her from even seeing them. I think about my friends, and what they would do in this situation. I think about new mothers I know and wonder how they would navigate all the barriers that are a reality to this young mother. What would you do?
I just keep praying that we are able to make Joseph's House a home for Danielle...a place of comfort and companionship; a place of love and trust; maybe even a place full of family.
*Name has been changed.
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