You Sizzle...

Just to clear everyone's worries now that Football season has officially started - don't worry. I have found a great sports bar where I can watch my Jets and my roommates enjoy coming with me to watch the games - mostly so they can laugh at how I act while watching. So please, have no fear, Brittney is back in full gear this NFL season. I've got the Carolina Panthers on right now here at our house, on FOX - the only channel we get on out TV.

This week has been a bit of a roller coaster, and I sense that most of my experience will be that way. I had great highs immediately followed by hard lows at work. A little more on that:

Each day this week, I felt reaffirmed at work by my colleagues, by my clients, and by my wonderful group of volunteers. The week began with Noshima, a colleague, telling me I came into the office like a quiet storm - that my energy exploded so quickly and that it is so refreshing to have a JV who is open to learning and getting to know the staff. Later in the week, another colleauge, Charla, who is closer in age to me than anyone in the office, gave me my first "You Sizzle" card. "You Sizzle" cards go up on a special bulletin board in the office and are given to people to say great job or way to go! The one Charla gave me said, "To Brittney: For doing a great job as the new JV." Both of these comments meant a lot to me because I feel such acceptance in the work place, which makes work a little bit easier. I feel like I can talk to my colleagues about life, can laugh with them or sulk with them when necessary. I feel truly comfortable, and that is a great feeling.

On Wednesdays, my group of three volunteers, all of whom are clients, come in and help me restock and organize the pantry. They are fantastic guys whose company I truly enjoy. They joke around with me, but talk to me like they've known me forever. Jabbar bought me a sandwich at Burger King one day, which meant the world to me. Dwayne told me one day that it was crazy how they felt so close to me so quickly, whereas it usually takes a month or so for them even to feel comfortable around the new JV. Gary made me a really nice card that said, "Welcome to the Roof. We're so glad you're here." It means so much more to me coming from the clients because it shows not only that they appreciate me, but also that they accept me. This was most seen with a client, Joseph, who I have given a hard time since the day I met him. He likes to try and see if you'll give in to his requests - for example one day he had an appointment and went "shopping" at the pantry right afterwards. He spent the next couple of hours hanging out at the office waiting for the bus, and while he waited, our fresh produce was dropped off. Joseph loves bananas and begged me to give him some, even though he had already shopped. I told him no, that he could have waited to shop, etc. etc. - establishing my place as the person who runs the pantry. He joked around like he was mad, but I knew he was just kidding. On Wednesday, we had an Arts and Crafts session with a woman who does card making with rubber stamps. Joseph told me that my name should be Brattney, not Brittney, and that there was no way he would make me a card. About an hour later, he came up to me with a card he made - on the front it said "Welcome! Thank You!" and inside he signed his name. That's when I knew that the clients truly accept me and feel comfortable with me.

Now remember, I said that those great highs were immediately followed by hard lows. Monthly billing is due at the end of the day this Monday, so most of the week was spent finishing up paperwork that was not finished when it should have been. I was becoming very frustrated because I was doing other people's work, work that should have been done weeks ago. I found myself having to "be creative" as Miss Jeanette says in order to show why clients need financial assistance. It was hard for me, though, to sign my name on something I was not proud of or something that I thought maybe wasn't right. I spent all day Thursday and most of the day Friday fuming that I had to do work that was not my own - paperwork for appointments I hadn't even been a part of, that I knew nothing about. The most frustrating part was that some of the paperwork had NO notes on it that would even help me finish the work. It was then that I realized that I need to remember why I'm here, what I'm trying to do, what I'm working on learning. It is my first professional job and I am learning about the dynamics of the office. It is just hard for me to know that I have only been there for four weeks and can get my work done efficiently and correctly, while others who have been there for longer than me cannot. With each day, I learn how to deal with it, how to talk to Miss Jeanette about my frustrations, and how to continue to insure that my work is done correctly so I don't fall into a similar pattern as others.

Saturday was a beautiful day here in North Carolina. For those of you who have been wondering - it has been in the 90s nearly every day since we arrived in Raleigh. When it isn't in the 90s, it is in the high 80s. I miss the cool feeling of fall, the feel of the wind stinging my nose a little bit on the walk to McGinley in the mornings. My roommates and I decided we wanted to go for a hike yesterday, and we sure picked the perfect day for it. It was cooler, though still in the 80s, and most of the trail we hiked was in the shade. There was a light breeze throughout our 6 mile hike. The state park we were at was absolutely beautiful. The trail brought us alongside a pretty creek, past all kinds of trees, near trees whose branches bent in unfathomable ways. It was such a peaceful time for all of us, to just breathe in the fresh air and to appreciate the opportunity to relax. It was the perfect end to the week and start to the weekend.

During our hike, Kate and I talked about a film we had watched Friday night - Milk. For those of you who have never seen it or have never heard of it, it is based on the true story of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to a major public office. He was assassinated in the late 1970s. We started talking about homophobia, racism, immigration, and a number of other issues. I have been thinking a lot lately about the injustices that exist in our society, but also about how those injustices are perpetuated each and every day. We are a product of the environments in which we grow up - whether we accept what we are taught or challenge what we are taught, either way, we are a product of that environment. Racism and homophobia are present throughout our country and are prejudices are taught to children each and every day, whether by their parents or through the news. How do we conquer that? How do we end such hatred? How do we teach acceptance? Why is it that people hate others just because they are "different"? This is a topic that I know I will reflect on for the rest of my life, and it is something I needed to share in the hopes that others, too, will think about it.

Big shout out this week to my mom and Team Hanger who completed Reach the Beach, a 200-mile relay across New Hampshire this weekend. Way to go!