Being back in East Hartford after four months was really a blessing. Spending time with the fam and my wonderful friends was much needed relaxation and a good break from the routine I have been living in Raleigh. It was interesting to watch myself the first few days as I immersed myself in the relationships I've left back home, and kind of dive back into my life at home. It wasn't until halfway through my vacation that I realized I had left JVC behind.
For the past few months, my community members and I have discussed how important it is for us to connect our lives back home to our lives in JVC; how necessary it is for us to keep our experiences at the forefront and really be able to make it more than just an experience, but an actual part of us. I fell so easily into the comfort of life back home - watching ESPN everyday, watching TV as I fall asleep, going out to eat for many meals. On Christmas morning, though I did not get much under the tree, I had the opportunity to get a new pair of boots and my favorite TV show on DVD.
Upon my return to Raleigh last week, it took me a lot longer to fall back into my "JVC life." Even as clients came and went, I felt so lost and confused. It wasn't until my second day back in the office that I found my compassion again. A client of mine came in for assistance with his rent. He has been struggling to find a job, though he has a great skills set in non-profit work. He has created payment plans with each of the companies he is billed by each month so that he can catch back up on his payments. As he talked, I just listened, though inactively. He started to tell me about his 17 year old son and how he couldn't even provide much for him for Christmas. His son lives about two hours away with his mother. He is an honor roll student and a talented athlete. When my client moved to Raleigh, he was so excited to be closer to his son, but has not even had enough money to afford the gas to get him to his son's town. As he told me this story, he began to cry. A few weeks ago, his son came to Raleigh for a basketball tournament. My client was so excited to see him and his son was also really pumped. He was going to go to one of the basketball games and see his son play. When he found out the games' admission cost $12, though, his world came crashing down. Where would he get the $12 he needed to go see his son for the first time in over a year? It was impossible.
Twelve dollars...an amount of money that seems like pocket change sometimes. Twelve dollars that my client didn't have and rarely has to spend on anything except his monthly bills. He barely has enough money to feed himself each day. His son was five minutes away and he couldn't even see him. As he cried in my office, I snapped back to reality and out of my comfortable life back home when $12 admission to a basketball game was never a problem.
This past weekend, my community set off for beautiful Dalton, PA for re-orientation. We got to see our friends we met a few months ago who are doing JVC up and down the East Coast. We finally got to talk to everyone about our experiences, our struggles, and our joys. It was a great time to get re-focused, especially after feeling disconnected when I was back in CT. Our entire day Friday was spent talking about social analysis - how do we take the experiences we've had and really ask the question why. Why are my clients poor? Why are those who are already marginalized more likely to become infected with HIV? Why are African-Americans more likely to live in poverty than whites? We learned more about analyzing the social structures of our country and really dive into looking at who benefits from the way society is structured today.
I really got to thinking - Why does greed and power rule our society? Why do the rich continue to grow richer while the poor lack the resources to break through the poverty circle? Why do elected politicians listen to only some of their constituents when they are elected to represent ALL of their constituents? Why is it that many of my clients, like Michael, cannot afford the $12 to see their children in a basketball game? My time at re-orientation really re-focused me, re-centered me, and re-energized me. I feel called to action; called to do more research and reflection; called to discern what my role in all of this is and how I can work to really CHANGE the structures. The structures and institutions were created by people, and as such, by people, they can be changed. I am grateful for the privilege with which I was born and raised, and I am grateful that I grew up in East Hartford, CT where I had the chance to interact with many cultures, where life was diverse, where some of my closest friends growing up may have had a different skin color than me, but were still my closest friends. I work for social justice because I know that this society is not just; that, if given the chance, those living in poverty could move out of poverty. But how? How do I work for change especially when so many Americans are comfortable with the way society is right now? How do I convince others that it is our God-given responsibility to work for justice and equality and for the well-being of ALL people, not just ourselves? These are questions I am struggling with not only in my interactions with clients, but also with recent happenings at my agency, and even in conversations with family and friends.
I start the second half of my year focused and ready to take on what seems like the impossible. This is the start of learning what it really means to be a woman for and with others. Would you like to join me on this journey?
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