Releasing the Stereotypes that Live Within Us

At the age of 22, sometimes I feel like I have seen it all. Then a new situation hits me, and I realize how naive I really am, how much I have left to experience in my life, and how little I truly know. During our new staff and new volunteer training on Friday night, my naivety and ignorance shown brightly. This is that story.

Paster B, a Methodist pastor who has deep ties to AAS-C and sits on our Board of Directors, wrapped up Friday night's training with a "Diversity" session. Now, I have sat through many talks and lectures about diversity, and never once have I walked out of it appreciating diversity more or questioning my beliefs. Pastor B, however, pushed me to think more deeply about the stereotypes I have, the prejudices that immediately come to mind, and how, often times, those judgments are quickly changed once I actually meet and get to know a person. After Pastor B talked to us a little bit about what diversity means and what a stereotype is, he gave us an activity to complete called "Releasing the Stereotypes that Live Within Us." The instructions were simple: Pastor B would name a group of people and we would have to pick five words that describe the way we believe that group to be upon first encounter. For example, one of the groups he gave us was "Corporate Bank Executive," to which I responded, "arrogant, guilty, oppressive, untrustworthy, and rich." The groups we worked with were HIV+ Infants; African-American Homeless Man; Corporate Bank Executive; Muslim; Transgender Female to Male; Prostitute; Drug Addict; and Evangelical Christian. 

I struggled quite a bit through this activity, having to continuously remind myself that I wasn't supposed to choose the adjectives that I wish I felt, but rather the ones that first came to mind. So rather than choosing "oppressed, underprivileged, and mysterious" for African-American Homeless Man, I put "inferior, powerless, dirty, pushy, and emotional." After we completed the list of groups and adjectives, Pastor B asked us if anything surprised us or even made us question our own beliefs. The first thing I realized was that I put "offensive" for Drug Addict. I'd say somewhere around half of all of my clients are recovering drug addicts, and I do not find my clients to be offensive. However, the first word I thought of was "offensive." We then sat in pairs to discuss how our stereotypes stem from our personal beliefs about ourselves; how we put ourselves up on a pedestal; that we are all high and mighty; that we are "right." 

When I think about my clients and how my stereotypes and judgments have the possibility to affect their accessibility to services that can help save their lives, I realize how much I need to constantly challenge myself to push the stereotypes to the back burner. On Friday morning, I had an intake appointment with a woman in her early 40s. As we talked, I found out that she had just been released from prison less than a month ago. She had served about 5 1/2 years. I cannot sit here and tell you that this fact had no impact on me. I'm not going to lie - at first, I was really scared. Had she hurt someone? Had she stolen something? Am I in danger right now? These were my initial judgments. I didn't give her the chance to explain her past to me, or how she thought she was in a monogamous relationship before she went to prison, yet ended up being HIV+. Or how her children no longer speak to her. Or how hard life has been for her. I just immediately thought the worst because she had been in prison for 5 1/2 years. It was not until the appointment was almost over that I learned she had been charged with embezzlement and finally let my guard down. Looking back now, I know that I acted differently towards her. That is not fair. 

Relationships are the thing that I hold closest to my heart. I would not be who I am today if it weren't for people who have helped shape my life. I would not be in JVC if it weren't for relationships; if it weren't for the compassion that has developed within me; if it weren't for the love that I feel towards people; if it weren't for my faith. Pastor B's final words Friday night were: 

"Remember, all persons deserve to be included in the human tapestry of life. It's up to each of us to help one another find out place in the tapestry; to find our thread that helps weave the entire tapestry together."

We are called to embrace others, to learn from others, to appreciate others. People are more than their external appearance. Each person has a story, a story that can rock you to the core. It is important that we as people strive hard to work towards understanding others in the context of their own story - their history and experiences - not in the context of our own. Because once we try to understand someone through the context of what we along have experienced and what we alone believe, we will never work towards understanding; we will never develop a just and peaceful world. 

Think about it.